1.”I love you.” You: “Is that you or the wine talking?” Me: “It’s me talking to the wine.”

2.  What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re my butter half!

3. Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They’re getting married in the spring!

4. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? A. Because they’re scent-imental creatures!

5. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me.

6. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!

7. Knock Knock Who’s there? Pooch Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me!

8. What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Somebunny loves you!

9. What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A: Whale you be mine!

10. What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day? A: You are bee-utiful!

11. What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? A: Owl be yours!

12. Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine’s day, he couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.  Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes. By now Mike’s curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards.  The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?” “But why?” asked Mike. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.

13. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re one in a melon!

14. What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine’s Day? “Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.”

15. I gave my girlfriend a cannoli for Valentine’s Day. When she asked why, I said, “I cannoli be happy when I’m with you.”

16. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? A: To the meatball.

17. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day? A. Let me call you Tweet heart!

18. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

19. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? A: I love you a ton!

20. What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? A: You get buttered up.

21. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: A hug and a quiche

22. What did one volcano say to the other? A: I lava you.

23. What happened when the two angels got married? A: They lived harpily ever after.

24. What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts.

25. What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Valentine’s Day? A: You mean a great dill to me.

26. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? A: You can always count on me.

27. What did cavemen give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Lots of ughs and kisses.

28. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.

29. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring.

30. Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail? A: She stole his heart.

31. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A: Hogs and kisses!

32. What did the valentine’s day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you’ll go places.

33. What did one boat say to the other? “Are you up for a little row-mance?”

34. What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you.”

35. Why is Valentine’s Day a great day for a party? A: Because you can party hearty.If you have  another, please share with us below in commentary:)Here Is A Valentines Day Gift eBook From TaxConnections:  250+ Best Tax Jokes And Quotes

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