♦ An estate & trusts lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and two million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and one million.” The lawyer concluded, “And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will well you are wrong. “Hi Dan!
♦ An accountant, a tax attorney and an actuary were dining together at a fashionable restaurant.
“With income tax being so complicated, we accountants are all doing quite well these days,” the accountant commented. To prove it, he pulled out a $5 bill, applied a match to it and used it to light his cigar.
“With so many people engaging in tax avoidance, the IRS pursuing offshore accounts and the IRS auditing more wealthy taxpayers , we tax lawyers are also doing very well these days,” the lawyer mused. To prove his point, he got out a $100 bill, applied a match to it and used it to light his cigar.
“With the new Affordable Care Act, we actuaries are doing even better,” the actuary said. To prove it, he wrote out a check for $1 million, applied a match to it and used it to light his cigar.
♦ A tax attorney defended case of tax evasion for an affluent client. He devoted over a year to the case, familiarizing himself with every loophole and angle of current legislation, and made a brilliant argument before the court. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. Flushed with victory, the lawyer exuberantly sent an email to his client, “Justice has triumphed!” The client immediately emailed back, “Appeal at once!”
To end today’s quotes let’s use some more quotes by and about a few presidents:
♦ “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”–Theodore Roosevelt
♦ Since I entered politics, I have chiefly had men’s views confided to me privately. Some of the biggest men in the U.S., in the field of commerce and manufacturing, are afraid of somebody, are afraid of something. They know that there is a power somewhere so organized, so subtle, so watchful, so interlocked, so complete, so pervasive, that they had better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it.” Woodrow Wilson
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